Unsightly Gay Guys

LGBT correspondent

"You&x27;re too unattractive to be gay," a man in a Huddersfield gay bar proclaimed to Jakeb Arturio Bradea.

That was the most recent of a succession of remarks from fellows that Jakeb states caused him to feel unworthy. Last summer, subsequent to those comments, he attempted to take his own life.

Manchester-based organization the LGBT Foundation has cautioned that body image concerns are becoming more prevalent in gay networks. It claims gay and bisexual men are "far more likely" than heterosexual men to grapple with them.

A number of gay men have informed the BBC they are going to great lengths to alter their bodies - including utilizing steroids and undergoing cosmetic surgery - merely to become "accepted" by others in the LGBT populace.

Multiple individuals reported that pressure from social media platforms and dating apps was intensifying their body issues.

"Guys with gorgeous bodies receive the comments and the attention," Jakeb declares. "I&x27;ve skipped going on dates because I&x27;m apprehensive about people observing me in real life. I would genuinely undergo plastic surgery if I could afford it."

Instead of surgery, a couple of years ago Jakeb resorted to anabolic steroids - Class C drugs that can be misused to increase muscle mass.

"I achieved a specific weight from just working out and going to the gym, yet I couldn&x27;t get any larger, and I got into my head that I needed to be bigger," he relates.

"My companion mentioned he knew a steroid dealer, so I reckoned maybe I'll simply administer a low dose to see what ensues."

Nonetheless, anabolic steroids can prove to be addictive. Jakeb quickly discovered himself unable to desist.

"I got to the size I desired to be, yet it didn't feel adequate," he states. "I persisted in wanting more. It felt like there was a stern voice telling me I'm scrawny."

Jakeb endured his second near-fatal experience in November of the previous year when - following numerous years of considerable steroid use - he suffered heart failure.

"I couldn't draw breath, I couldn't sleep, I was mere days away from demise," he recounts. "The cardiologist indicated that if I had had one extra injection or gone to the gym a handful of more times, I would have perished."

Months afterward, Jakeb has stopped taking steroids and has shed the supplementary muscle he accumulated, but he persists in having health problems for which he is receiving hospital backing. "It just hasn't been worthwhile whatsoever," he states.

And Jakeb isn't the only one in taking drastic actions to strive to appeal to men.

James Brumpton - a software engineer hailing from Lincoln - found himself "propelled into this world of self-consciousness", after he hooked up with a man at a local gay bar.

When James revisited the man's residence and removed his T-shirt, his date observed him and made a disgusted sound. "Nice arms though," the man added.

Ultimately, the experience led to James determining to have an abdominoplasty - otherwise recognized as a tummy tuck.

"I permitted another man to sway me to a juncture where I literally had a portion of me removed," he expresses.

According to the most current figures released by the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (Baaps), one hundred seventy-nine abdominoplasties were performed on men in 2018 - an increase of 18% on the year prior.

Prof Afshin Mosahebi, of Baaps, states gay men are currently having more cosmetic procedures carried out than straight men, albeit he notes that women undergo more procedures overall.

The surgeon believes the burden of social media is urging individuals to go under the knife.

"Certain patients don't necessitate surgery, they necessitate psychological help, and even the patients that do need surgery need to be appropriately apprised of all the potential risks," he says.

After James's tummy tuck went awry, he was left with permanent scarring, which rendered him even more mindful of his body.

"I&x27;ve been scorned numerous times since then," states James. "A fellow I was dating once stated that I needed to go and procure jeans in the maternity section because I have ample hips."

Dating apps have stoked body image concerns, he posits. "Individuals having in their profiles 'no fats', or that they&x27;re exclusively into masculine and muscular fellows, thus they don&x27;t desire anybody that's exceedingly skinny," he indicates.

Images on social media and in leading gay magazines have also impelled James to feel he is an "invader in the space".

"The notion in your head is that to be a gay man, is to resemble a Calvin Klein model," he elucidates.

Photographs of "sexy bodies" drive sales of gay magazines, per Matthew Todd, a former editor of one such publication, Attitude.

"It was a strain the entire time, and I consistently endeavored to place individuals on the cover that weren't akin to that: the first trans man, the first trans woman, the first lesbian," says Matthew.

"I kept doing those types of things, but they didn't sell well."

When Matthew placed a photo of Stephen Fry on the front of the magazine in 2010, "it was one of the worst-selling editions ever", he says.

"That&x27;s not a reflection on Stephen Fry, since he&x27;s incredibly popular," he remarks. "I believe it speaks volumes about what readers are coming to gay publications for."

Matthew, the author of Straight Jacket: How to be gay and happy, articulates that homophobia has fueled gay men&x27;s body issues.

"It's truly vital to recall that there is unprecedented pressure on everybody to present themselves in a visual manner," he says.

"But I think you can't exclude from this discussion the fact that LGBT individuals mature, shamed, incapable of being themselves.

"And I believe for lots of individuals, that's a massive trauma that manifests as low self-esteem. If you don't like yourself, that manifests as not being content with the way you appear."

The consequence has been that gay men are under more pressure than heterosexual men to possess the flawless body, Matthew states.

"If you navigate to certain gay dating apps, you would conceive that the overwhelming majority of gay men are supermodels," he continues.

"If you're a gay man, the act of finding another man attractive is concurrently making a judgement about yourself. Numerous gay men confuse 'Do I want to be with him?' with 'Do I want to be him?'"

Jeff Ingold, from LGBT charity Stonewall, posits it is "crucial" that we witness more diverse representations of gay and bisexual men with varied body types in the media.

"Not only would this aid gay and bi men envision themselves reflected in what they observe, it would also help break down detrimental stereotypes that affect gay and bi men's body image and self-esteem."

But as it presently stands, Jakeb says he still receives messages online informing him they "wouldn't exit the residence if they resembled me".

"I didn't attend pride parades and have bricks flung at me to cultivate the community we've got now," he states.

"We have parity, but we're dreadful to one another."

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised, support and advice is available via BBC Action Line.

Additional reporting by Harriet Agerholm

This summer, the BBC will be exploring "body pride" and the relationship between LGBT people and their bodies. If you would like to share your experiences, please email haveyoursay@bbc.co.uk.

Please include a contact number if you are willing to speak to a BBC journalist. You can also contact us in the following ways: