Myths Regarding Gays

Myth Number One: Homosexuality is a conscious decision.
The actual reality: Sexual orientation is, in point of fact, influenced by various elements, such as hereditary traits and the biological processes of brain development.
Upbringing, social pressures, and religious conflicts are not determinative factors in homosexuality or heterosexuality.
Being homosexual is neither a matter of choice nor a deliberate decision, much like being heterosexual. Asking an individual who is gay, "When did you decide to be gay?" is comparable to posing the query to a heterosexual individual, "When did you decide to be attracted to individuals of the opposite gender?"
Scientific data illustrates that sexual orientation (homosexuality or heterosexuality, i.e., gay or straight) has biological origins.¹ While there remains further information to be acquired, studies suggest that the factors leading to a person being gay or straight are rooted in our genes (i.e., DNA), epigenetics (i.e., how environmental variables affect our genes), and occurrences within the developing brain before birth.²
Myth Number Two: Homosexuality can be "cured."
The truth of the matter: Therapy is incapable of altering sexual orientation, and "reparative" therapy can be detrimental.
Therapies purporting to transform lesbian, gay, and bisexual individuals into heterosexuals (e.g., "conversion" and "reparative" therapy) have been discredited. A task force within the American Psychological Association, following years of research on therapeutic initiatives, determined that altering sexual orientation is highly improbable. In addition, leading mental health and counseling organizations advise against the employment of conversion or reparative therapies (refer to below).
Exodus International, the largest North American reparative therapy organization, ceased operations in 2013 following thirty-seven years of failure. At the press conference announcing this closing, the president, Alan Chambers, issued an apology for "...years of unwarranted judgment by the organization and the Christian Church as a whole...We&8217;ve been imprisoned in a worldview that&8217;s neither honoring toward our fellow human beings, nor biblical…From a Judeo-Christian perspective, gay, straight, or otherwise, we&8217;re all prodigal sons and daughters. Exodus International is the prodigal&8217;s older brother, attempting to impose its will on God&8217;s promises, and make judgments on who&8217;s worthy of His Kingdom."
These organizations that strongly recommend against the application of conversion therapy and reparative therapy include:
Medical Groups:
- American Medical Association
- American Academy of Pediatrics
- American Psychiatric Association
- American College of Physicians
- Pan American Health Organization
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) (PAHO): Regional Office of the World Health Organization
Counseling Organizations:
- American Psychological Association
- American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry
- American Counseling Association
- American Psychoanalytic Association
- American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
- American School Counselor Association
- American School Health Association
- National Association of Social Workers
Myth Number Three: The parents were at fault.
The reality: Nothing you did caused your child to be gay. Nevertheless, how you respond will significantly influence your child's well-being.
Self-blame is often the initial reaction of parents who discover their child is lesbian, gay, or bisexual. This is inaccurate. A child's sexual orientation is not learned from anyone, including parents. Just as a parent cannot make a child heterosexual, or straight, a parent cannot cause a child to be gay. (Refer to Myth 1)
However, parental responses after a child comes out can affect how life unfolds for that child, both now and into their adulthood. You have the opportunity to shield your child from homelessness, depression, and suicide,⁴ alongside high-risk, self-destructive behaviors that contribute to drug use and sexually transmitted diseases. How is this achievable? See "Parental Actions that Help."
Myth Number Four: My child might turn other children gay, either in the family or community.
Reality: Sexual orientation is not something that is learned from peers.
Though children and adolescents might mimic or exert influence over each other, sexual orientation is not something that is learned from peers. Others may disclose their orientation to your child, not due to "recruitment," but because they recognize a shared connection.
Myth Number Five: An LGBTQ individual poses a threat to children.
Reality: LGBTQ individuals are no more likely to molest children than anyone else.
This slur is unfounded. LGBTQ individuals possess the same protective instincts for children as heterosexuals. Sexual attraction to children is not a characteristic of homosexuality but rather Pedophilia, a psychiatric disorder.
This accusation is frequently aimed at gay men in particular, yet research demonstrates that gay men are no more inclined than straight men to engage in the sexual abuse of children.⁵ In fact, the Child Molestation Research & Prevention Institute indicates that ninety percent of child molesters target children within their familial or social circles, with the majority being men married to women.⁵ A research review conducted by Dr. Gary Herek found no evidence that gay men molest children at higher rates than heterosexual men.⁶
A prominent promoter of this myth, the discredited psychologist Paul Cameron, stands as the most ubiquitous purveyor of anti-gay junk science. Despite repeated and public debunking of his claims, Cameron's work continues to be widely relied upon by anti-gay organizations.⁵
Myth Number Six: The Bible condemns homosexuality.
The truth of the matter: The Bible is primarily concerned with proper treatment of others and disapproves of cruelty, exploitation, and abuse among all people—heterosexual and homosexual alike.
Jesus remained silent on the subject of homosexuality. His ministry was one of welcome and acceptance, not condemnation. Furthermore, many Christians consider the Great Commandment in Mt. 22:36-40 as their guiding principle: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind' and 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'
Out of more than thirty-one thousand verses, only seven are used to support the claim that the Bible condemns homosexuality. When considered in their historical contexts and when tracing translations to the original text, the modern interpretation of an anti-homosexuality content is not supported. The word 'homosexual' does not appear in the Bible; no text or manuscript, whether Hebrew, Greek, Syriac, or Aramaic, includes such a word.⁸
(For a detailed discussion of the seven passages commonly used as "proof," please consult UnClobber by Colby Martin.)
For a more positive Biblical perspective, see &8220;LGBTQ-Affirming Scripture&8220;. These Bible references were compiled by members of St. Hugh of Lincoln Episcopal Church in Elgin, Illinois &8220;to highlight the many messages of love and inclusion that are in the Bible.&8221;
Myth Number Seven: Homosexuality is abnormal.
Reality: LGBTQ individuals are as mentally healthy as anyone else.
In nineteen seventy-three, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, and the American Academy of Pediatrics jointly issued this statement:

'Homosexuality is not an illness. It does not require treatment and is not changeable. Gender differences are normal expressions of human relationships.'
At that time, homosexuality was removed from the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, the official list of mental disorders and is no longer considered a mental illness.
LGBTQ individuals are as mentally healthy as anyone else. However, it is true that stigma, prejudice, and discrimination against LGBTQ individuals generate a hostile and stressful social environment that leads to mental health problems⁶ as well as increases the likelihood of suicide attempts and other self-harming behaviors.
Myth Number Eight: Marriage is solely between a man and a woman.
Reality: LGBTQ relationships can be as monogamous, robust, and legitimate as heterosexual relationships.
Marriage between same-sex partners is legal in the United States and in an expanding number of nations across the globe. Mutual affection and respect, not the gender of the marriage partners, are what contribute to the strength and validity of unions. Fidelity within committed same-sex relationships can be welcomed and blessed by families, communities, and the church to the same extent as a heterosexual marriage.
Myth Number Nine: If we permit LGBTQ marriage, anyone wanting to be married can have any meaningful relationship defined as marriage.
Reality: Marriage will invariably be between two consenting adults.
This constitutes the "slippery slope" argument. By its definition, marriage must involve two consenting adults. This prevents marriage with a child, marriage with a pet, and other extreme instances used in comparison to same-sex marriage. None of these scenarios involve two consenting adults.
Myth Number Ten: Homosexual "practice" constitutes a sin.
The truth: Sexuality is a regular facet of human connection in any loving relationship, whether gay or straight.
Another viewpoint is that sexuality is a positive gift from God to all people. Homosexuality, as is heterosexuality, is morally neutral. And yet, regarding LGBTQ individuals, an unjust distinction is frequently made: 'It's acceptable to be gay. Just refrain from acting gay or engaging in sexual relations.' This is an unreasonable and inequitable demand that is not imposed upon heterosexuals.
It is dissonant and hurtful to require LGBTQ individuals to separate their true selves from the truth they live. The notion of a committed relationship, regardless of the sexual identity of the partners, should be equally respected.
Certain LGBTQ individuals may choose to practice celibacy, akin to some heterosexual individuals. Nevertheless, this is a choice, in some instances even a calling, and is not something that should be enforced upon a person.
Myth Number Eleven: Opposing homosexuality is "Christian."
Reality: As followers of Jesus and recipients of God's grace, Christians believe that their primary role as disciples is to extend God's love to others.
Many Christians uphold a long-held tradition of tolerance and honoring diverse beliefs, expressions of faith, and interpretations of the Bible. Using God and faith to empower fear, discomfort, or narrow-mindedness is never Christian. People of genuine faith can—and do—embrace LGBTQ individuals as beloved children of God.
A growing number of pastors are modifying their perspectives as they gain more knowledge and understanding and observe the children within their congregations coming to them, fearing that they will be excluded from their church communities.
Myth Number Twelve: Embracing homosexuals will lead to the church's ruin.
Reality: Numerous faith communities experience a resurgence when they welcome LGBTQ members.
Churches that condemn or reject LGBTQ Christians are losing members. These losses encompass LGBTQ family members who feel compelled to remain silent about their loved ones and hide from judgment within their church. Unable to be open about their family, fearing that they will wound their family member, and dreading the condemnation within their church, many families commence a withdrawal from church life that frequently becomes complete. Alternatively, they may turn to a welcoming congregation.
Accepting churches attract new seekers as well because those churches are seen as being able to "walk the talk." Churches can make a favorable decision to put the Golden Rule into action, lead with kindness and acceptance, and prioritize a more accurate and profound understanding of the Bible.

Sources:

Healy, Melissa.'Scientists find DNA differences between gay men and their straight twin brothers'. Los Angeles Times. (Oct. 8, 2015)
Pepper, Michael and Beverley Kramer. 'Here's What We Know About the Science of Sexual Orientation' Slate Magazine.
'The Lies and Dangers of Efforts to Change Sexual Orientation or Gender Identity' Human Rights Campaign website.
Caitlin Ryan, David Huebner, Rafael M. Diaz and Jorge Sanchez. 'Family Rejection as a Predictor of Negative Health Outcomes in White and Latino Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Young Adults' Pediatrics. January 2009, VOLUME 123 / ISSUE 1; 123;346
Schlatter, Evelyn and Robert Steinback. '10 Anti-Gay Myths Debunked' Southern Poverty Law Center. Intelligence Report, 2010 Winter Issue. February 27, 2011.
Herek, Gregory M., Ph.D. 'Facts About Homosexuality and Child Molestation' Univ. of California, Davis
Meyer, I. H. (2003). 'Prejudice, Social Stress, and Mental Health in Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Populations: Conceptual Issues and Research Evidence'. Psychological Bulletin, 129(5), 674-697.
John Boswell, Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality: Gay People in Western Europe from the Beginning of the Christian Era to the Fourteenth Century (University of Chicago Press, Paperback edition, p. 92).