Unattractive Gay Man

Correspondent for LGBT Issues

"You are too unattractive to identify as gay," Jakeb Arturio Bradea was informed by a patron at a gay establishment in Huddersfield.

This particular remark represented the most recent in a string of observations from other men, which, according to Jakeb, caused him to perceive himself as entirely valueless. Consequently, during the preceding summer, in the wake of these very comments, he made an attempt on his own life.

The LGBT Foundation, a charitable organization based in Manchester, has issued a cautionary statement, indicating that concerns regarding body image are progressively permeating gay communities. Furthermore, this organization asserts that homosexual and bisexual men exhibit a considerably higher propensity ("much more likely") to grapple with such challenges compared to their heterosexual counterparts.

Several gay individuals have disclosed to the BBC their adoption of drastic measures in order to alter their physical appearance; these efforts encompass the use of anabolic steroids and undergoing cosmetic surgery, all in an endeavor to gain "acceptance" from fellow members within the broader LGBT community.

A number of respondents indicated that the immense pressure originating from various social media platforms and online dating applications was, in fact, intensifying their struggles with body image perception.

According to Jakeb, "Men possessing exceptionally impressive physiques receive both verbal affirmations and focused interest." He further confesses, "I have refrained from engaging in romantic outings due to my apprehension concerning how individuals might perceive my actual appearance. Truthfully, I would undergo cosmetic surgery were financial resources available to me."

Rather than pursuing surgical intervention, approximately a few years prior, Jakeb opted for the use of anabolic steroids - these are classified as Class C substances, frequently subjected to misuse for the purpose of augmenting muscle mass.

He recalls, "My physique reached a particular weight merely through consistent exercise and regular attendance at the gymnasium; however, I found myself unable to achieve further bulk, and consequently, the conviction that I required a larger build became deeply ingrained in my thoughts."

"A friend of mine mentioned knowing someone who supplied steroids, leading me to consider merely trying a minimal dosage to observe any potential effects," he explained.

Nevertheless, anabolic steroids possess addictive properties. Before long, Jakeb discovered he was incapable of discontinuing their use.

He recounted, "I attained the physical dimensions I had desired, yet this achievement did not evoke a sufficient sense of satisfaction." He further added, "An incessant yearning for greater bulk persisted. It was akin to an unforgiving internal monologue incessantly asserting my perceived thinness."

Jakeb encountered his second life-threatening incident in November of the preceding year. This occurred following a period of extensive steroid consumption spanning several years, which ultimately culminated in him enduring heart failure.

He described his ordeal: "I was unable to respire, sleep eluded me entirely, and my life hung precariously, mere days from its conclusion." Furthermore, he revealed, "The cardiology specialist indicated that had I administered just one additional injection or frequented the gymnasium on a few more occasions, my demise would have been immediate."

Several months subsequent to these events, Jakeb has ceased his steroid intake and, as a consequence, has shed the additional muscle mass he had acquired. Nonetheless, he persistently experiences various health complications, for which he is presently receiving medical assistance from a hospital. "The endeavor has simply not been justifiable in any respect," he lamented.

Moreover, Jakeb&x27;s decision to undertake extreme actions in an attempt to attract men is by no means an isolated case.

James Brumpton, who is a software engineer hailing from Lincoln, recounts being "abruptly thrust into a realm of acute self-awareness" following an encounter with another man at a nearby gay establishment.

Upon accompanying the man back to his residence and subsequently removing his T-shirt, James observed his date casting a disapproving gaze upon him, accompanied by an audible expression of distaste. Despite this, the man appended, "Your arms are impressive, however."

Ultimately, this particular experience prompted James&x27;s decision to undergo an abdominoplasty, a surgical procedure colloquially referred to as a tummy tuck.

"I permitted the persuasion of another individual to sway me to such an extent that a portion of my own body was, quite literally, excised," he stated.

As per the latest data divulged by the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (Baaps), during two thousand eighteen, one hundred and seventy-nine abdominoplasties were conducted on male patients; this represented an eighteen percent increase when compared to the preceding year&x27;s statistics.

Professor Afshin Mosahebi, affiliated with Baaps, indicates that at present, homosexual men are undergoing a greater number of cosmetic interventions than heterosexual men. Nevertheless, he points out that, broadly speaking, female individuals still account for a higher volume of such procedures compared to males.

It is the surgeon&x27;s conviction that the pervasive influence of social media platforms is compelling individuals to opt for surgical enhancements.

He asserts, "Certain patients are not in need of surgical intervention; rather, their requirement is for psychological assistance. Furthermore, even those individuals who genuinely necessitate surgery must be adequately apprised of all inherent dangers."

Subsequent to James&x27;s abdominoplasty going awry, he was burdened with indelible scarring, a consequence that intensified his already heightened awareness concerning his physique.

James confesses, "Numerous instances of public humiliation have occurred since that time." He recalled a particular incident: "One individual with whom I was romantically involved once suggested that I ought to seek out denim trousers within the maternity wear department, citing my broad hip structure as the reason."

He postulates that online dating applications have exacerbated anxieties related to body image. "Users frequently include stipulations in their profiles such as &x27;no fats&x27;, or express a preference solely for conventionally masculine and muscular individuals, thus indicating a disinterest in anyone who is exceptionally slender," he explained.

Visual content disseminated via social media platforms and prominent gay publications has, additionally, caused James to experience a sensation of being an "intruder within that sphere."

He elaborates: "The prevailing mental construct suggests that embodying a gay man necessitates the physical appearance of a Calvin Klein model."

As stated by Matthew Todd, who previously served as editor for a publication named Attitude, the portrayal of "alluring physiques" acts as a primary catalyst for the sales performance of gay magazines.

Matthew recounted: "Throughout my tenure, there existed a constant dichotomy, and I made persistent efforts to feature individuals on the cover who did not conform to that archetype, including the inaugural transgender man, the first transgender woman, and the first lesbian."

"My persistence in showcasing such diversity, however, did not translate into robust sales figures," he remarked.

When a photograph of Stephen Fry was featured by Matthew on the magazine&x27;s cover in two thousand and ten, "it proved to be among the poorest-performing issues in the publication&x27;s history," he revealed.

He clarified, "This outcome is not indicative of Stephen Fry&x27;s appeal, given his immense popularity." Instead, he opined, "I believe it speaks volumes regarding the motivations that draw readers to gay publications."

Matthew, who penned the book Straight Jacket: How to be gay and happy, posits that homophobia has exacerbated challenges related to body image among gay men.

He emphasizes, "It is imperative to bear in mind that an unparalleled degree of pressure is exerted upon every individual to portray themselves visually."

"However, in this discourse, one cannot disregard the reality that LGBT individuals often mature having experienced public denigration and a fundamental inability to express their authentic selves.

"Consequently, for a multitude of individuals, I believe this constitutes a profound psychological injury that materializes as diminished self-regard. Should one harbor an aversion to their own being, this displeasure will invariably manifest as discontent with their physical appearance."

According to Matthew, the consequence of these factors is that gay men experience a heightened degree of compulsion, exceeding that faced by heterosexual men, to achieve an impeccable physique.

He further elaborates: "Should one explore certain gay dating applications, one might erroneously conclude that an overwhelming proportion of homosexual men possess the attributes of supermodels."

"For a gay man, the very process of perceiving another male as appealing inherently involves an assessment of one&x27;s own person," he explains. "A significant number of gay men frequently conflate the query, &x27;Do I desire companionship with him?&x27; with the distinct question, &x27;Do I aspire to embody him?&x27;"

Jeff Ingold, representing the LGBT charitable organization Stonewall, states that it is "imperative" that a broader spectrum of portrayals of gay and bisexual men, encompassing various body types, become more prevalent across media platforms.

"Such inclusivity would not only facilitate gay and bisexual men in recognizing their own identities within consumed media, but it would concurrently contribute to dismantling detrimental stereotypes that adversely impact the body image and sense of self-worth among gay and bisexual men," he added.

Nevertheless, in the current scenario, Jakeb reports that he continues to encounter individuals online who communicate to him that they "would not venture outside their residence if their appearance resembled mine."

"My participation in Pride marches, enduring the indignity of having projectiles hurled at me, was not intended to culminate in the kind of community we currently possess," he asserted.

"While we may indeed possess legal parity, our interactions with one another are, regrettably, characterized by cruelty."

Should you find yourself impacted by any of the aforementioned concerns, assistance and guidance can be accessed through the BBC Action Line.

Further journalistic contributions provided by Harriet Agerholm

During the forthcoming summer, the BBC intends to investigate the concept of "body pride" and the intricate connection between individuals identifying as LGBT and their physical forms. Should you be inclined to recount your personal experiences, kindly transmit an email to haveyoursay@bbc.co.uk.

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